It was a dark and rainy evening, followed by a warm and sunny morning when the strangest thing the world had ever seen, happened.
A rather plump woman with long dark hair entered the drive-thru of her local fast food joint for a very unhealthy lunch.
She ordered a double cheeseburger with everything on it, except pickles.
Little did she know, the cashier had mistaken her order for a burger with ONLY pickles. As soon as the lady took a bite she spat it all out and onto her rented car's steering wheel, in disgust. She hated pickles.
When she realized the entire burger was only pickles, she threw it out her car window, while it was still moving. This woman obviously wasn't Einstein and sent the car back to the rental agency with pickles splattered all over its side.
Even though it was a nice day, the wind was already picking up and many meteorologists were calling for a severe thunderstorm. All the car rental employees went home early and, rather stupidly, left the pickles on the car the woman had rented.
That night the storm raged on.
In fact, it was worse than severe, it was practically a shower of electricity.
Every car in the rental agency was hit by lightning. This included the pickle car.
Normally pickles that are struck by lightning don't change. However, these were not ordinary pickles. They were fast food, super-processed, electricity-absorbent pickles.
One pickle in particular was quite absorbent. As soon as the bolt of electricity hit the car, the pickle, (we'll call it ... Carl) absorbed all of the energy before it could get to the ground.
This caused Carl to grow to about the size of the CN Tower.
It also gave "him" the IQ of a 2-3 year-old and the ability to use electric impulses to move around. Six other pickles absorbed electricity, but not nearly as much as Carl, and were only half his size.
Carl and his fellow giant pickles began to move about the city looking for more electricity, and pretty much crushed half the town trying to get the energy that was in people's homes.
By then, 10 news stations were at the scene, most of which had hired people to run around in the background screaming like maniacs so the giant pickle attack seemed a lot scarier to the viewers.
After the police realized that tasers do not subdue non-living objects, or for that matter, electricity-absorbing objects, they called in the Canadian Armed Forces.
However, when they finally arrived, they only brought 600 forks, saying, "You said something about pickles!"
Now the city's last hope lay on the shoulders of one man. The 12-time "Pickle Eating Champion of the World," El Kcip (read his name backwards!).
Basically, this guy loves pickles. He took one look at one of the lesser giant pickles and said, "This is it?"
"No," said one of the soldiers and he pointed at Carl and then to all the other giant pickles. "This is it!"
"I'm gonna need some help!" shouted El Kcip, wide-eyed and open-mouthed.
Hardly two seconds later, more than 7000 of the city's pickle lovers came to his aid, bringing, knives, forks and many other strange pickle-eating utensils. They made quick work of Carl and the other giant pickles and the reign of terror was finished.
The city was quickly rebuilt and everything was normal once again . . . except for the new bylaw that forbids leaving your car outside with pickles on it!
Attack of the Giant Pickles is one of seven winners chosen from 1,126 entries in this year's Starship Story Contest.
